Divorce is an upsetting process. Strong emotions of anger can remain for years. Mind-set of being cast off can even be carried over to new relationships. For many divorcing couples, the most painful part of the proceedings is often the loss of self-esteem. Confronted with hardhearted thoughts of fear and anger, many people in the process of divorcing each other are often distraught by the ease in which they seem to forsake values that they had held in deep regard such as empathy, compassion, and respect. The need to hurt often takes the place of what used to be enduring and deep love. Revenge replaces considerate. Anger supplants civility. When such humanitarian values are given up, it results in the loss of self-esteem and self-respect that is often seen in divorce procedures.

However, many divorcing couples found that they can preserve their dignity, compassion, and self-respect through approaching divorce in a new way – via mediation. Traditionally, divorce has always been approached in an adversarial manner, often resulting in the break in communication between the parties, costly court procedures, accompanied by strong hostility. Many couples often find that despite their first good intentions, the adversarial nature of the procedures would complicate matters by rotating even small issues into complicated and impossible ones, requiring a substantial amount of money and time to resolve. Such experiences have left many divorcing or divorced people feeling as if they have betrayed their inner values. While occasionally there may be no other way out, not every couple wants or needs this sort of ending to their marriage.

How does divorce mediation provide an alternative?

Divorce mediation provides an alternative to divorcing couples because people specifically trained in mediation, known as divorce mediators, help them to come to a contract on issues related to their divorce, without them going the adversarial way. The divorce mediator gives the couple monetary and legal information helps them to know the emotional and mental aspects of divorcing, its impact on the children, as well as providing tips on conflict management. The mediator stays unbiased all through the process, without being condemnatory towards either spouse about the motivations or reasons for their decision to part ways. The methods of divorce mediation are designed to reduce hostility, enhance communication, and support the expression and maintenance of caring and respect between the divorcing couple as well as their family. This results in divorce no longer having to be identical with loss of self-respect and bitterness.

With divorce mediation, couples have the capability of deciding for themselves under what circumstances, when, and how their divorce will take place. Divorce mediation is giving attention on agreement, leaning towards achieving a goal, and is time limited. Unlike marriage counseling, it is not meant to improve or save a marriage, nor does it help divorcing couples make decisions, like in arbitration. Instead, divorce mediation helps in given that guidance along with creating an environment wherein divorcing couples can arrive at an agreement on the issues linked to their divorce, putting those agreements on paper, and thereby beginning the process of stirring on into the future.

How exactly is mediation different from the adversarial system?

In the conventional adversarial method of divorce, separate attorneys are hired by each spouse to stand for themselves. These lawyers then pay out a lot of time in discussions with each other, and then more time to communicate the result of their discussions to their clients. This adversarial method exacerbates the quarrel, anxiety and stress, along with increasing the legal fees. If the lawyers do not do well in arriving at an agreement, a judge will have to decide about the issues associated with the divorce. This results in rotating it into a litigation, which delays the process of the divorce, often for a number of years. It also results in compromising the privacy of the individuals worried while depleting their assets which otherwise could have been separated between the couple or used for providing for the children.

However, when couples resort to mediation, they take the help of a trained mediator to bargain with each other straight in order to appear at an contract about every aspect of their divorce, such as child support, arrangements about parenting, and dividing the property. The mediator remains an impartial third party whose special responsibility is facilitating negotiations by decisive the issues, investigative the possible solutions, and giving advice about all the matters that ought to be included in the last agreement.

Thus, mediation helps in decreasing the price of divorcing. Studies have shown that the adversarial method of using two attorneys escalates the total fees of the divorce by as much as 134 percent compared to using the mediation approach. These studies have also shown that divorces that are mediated lessens hostility, leaving the divorcing couples more satisfied with the outcome, and increased their abidance with the agreements arrived at during the mediation process.

Mediation helps in acknowledging emotions

One of the distinct useful aspects of the process of mediation is the manner in which recognition is given to emotions without allowing them to delay the process of arriving at a contract. Oftentimes, the adversarial approach fuels the anger of the divorcing couple, resulting in them focusing only on their disagreements, which leads them to lose vision of the things that they do agree about. Mediation helps in couples being able to express their usual feelings of rejection, fear, and hostility in a controlled and neutral environment wherein they can be handled and interpreted in such a way that these emotions are not mistaken or are allowed rising the conflict. This aspect, more than anything else, is what differentiates divorce via mediation from other ways of divorcing.

Even though mediation is a novel approach to divorce and family law, it is one of the most time-tested ways used in resolving conflicts. Mediation is one of best ways of serving divorcing couples getting in-depth and important decisions while preserving their sense of self-respect, self-respect and humanity. In these times, with so many lives being aching by the harmful aspects of divorce, humanity, compassion, and respect can be priceless reserves.

Author Bio :

Munish Rathee working for Visibility Partners, the client sites he is working on are Naperville Divorce Attorney

, Seattle divorce attorney

, and Orange County Divorce

Child support contempt in Rhode Island (RI)

If a person violates a Rhode Island Family Court order by not paying child support, the parent with physical custody may file a motion to hold that person in contempt for failure to pay child support.  A person accused of not paying child support has a right to a hearing. The obligor parent has the right to proper notice under the Rhode Island Family Court Rules.

If the person owed child support (the parent with physical placement / custody) is on AFDC Benefits (welfare) than payment may be owed to the state of Rhode Island. In that event, the motion may be initiated by the State of Rhode Island, Child Support Enforcement rather than the father or mother with physical custody of the minor child.

A Child Support contempt proceeding could be part of a Rhode Island divorce, child custody, Complaint for separate Maintenance, dcyf petition, child visitation, paternity or other type of Family Court legal action. If there is a potential for incarceration and a person cannot afford a Rhode Island Family Law lawyer / attorney then the Family Court must insure that the person has an attorney representing him or her. The Judge usually has a list of Court Appointed attorneys who are paid for by the state. Otherwise, the Court will appoint  one of the lawyers from Rhode Island Legal Services to represent the person.

There is often an opportunity to settle the matter prior to any hearing in which a judge may find a person in willful contempt. A settlement typically may include any one of the following or a combination of the following or something different:  the obligor agreeing to remain current, paying a lump sum, a payment plan, staying current in addition to an arrearage order, etc.

In some situations, the parent with physical custody or Child Support enforcement is unwilling to settle the matter and insists on a hearing.

Technical contempt

If a person is found in technical contempt after a hearing, it means that the person has not complied with the child support order. However, the Court believes that the person had a legitimate reason or excuse for failure to pay, such as loss of job (being fired, laid off), decrease in income, disability, injured at work, unable to work, medical problems, or a myriad of other excuses or explanations. The judge also may not accept any of the above stated excuses as justification for failure to pay.

A person found to be in technical contempt will not be sentenced to the Adult Correctional Institution (aci) (jail)! However, the person may be ordered to find employment, raise a lump sum, stay current and / or make payments on the arrearage, pay attorneys fees, make certain lump sum payments, obtain a second job etc.

Most Judges have little patience for people who do not support their children. If the person has an excuse for nonpayment it better be a good one or they may find themselves in Jail. The amount of arrears and the person’s history for compliance or noncompliance is often crucial in a judge’s determination! If a person has a long history of  nonpayment then that person has a much higher likelihood to be held in willful contempt.

The more a person owes the more likelihood that the person will be held in willful contempt.

At a hearing the judge will look at all relevant supporting documentation that has been offered into evidence. The judge will almost always ask what the person can pay at that moment or whether they are able to immediately borrow money from friends or family. The Usual Dialogue is – “how much can you come up with to stay out of Jail and how quickly can you pay?” The RI Family Court judge may also be interested in whether a person has assets that he or she can sell.

If a person’s circumstances change then they need to file a motion to modify or suspend their child support rather then not make the payments! Child support does not automatically modify upon circumstances changing. If a modification is granted then the modification will be retroactive to the date of filing of the motion to modify not the date the circumstances actually changed. This does not mean that a person can unilaterally change their child support when they file a motion. It means that the child support will run retroactive after the Family Court issues an order modifying the child support. Therefore, if a person loses their job, becomes disabled, their hours are reduced or their pay decreases they must immediately file a motion to modify.

Child support can only be changed or modified if a motion is filed and an order enters. In many instances the judge’s response to a person’s plea to not hold them in contempt because they lost their job or their income decreased will be something like: “you should have filed a motion to modify or suspend child support when your circumstances changed rather than not pay.”

 

Willful contempt

A finding of willful contempt means that the judge believes that a person is thumbing their nose at the Court or has no reasonable justification for nonpayment. It could result from the judge not believing that the stated excuse for nonpayment is a justifiable excuse. A finding of willful contempt could also mean the following: 1) the person has the ability to pay and has not made payment 2) the person has not made proper efforts to find suitable employment 3) the person is able to work yet either isn’t working,  is underemployed or not making proper efforts to find employment.

The judge may believe that the contempt is willful because the person is lying, exaggerating his excuse or that the person is not acting in good faith.

If a person is found in willful contempt for not paying Rhode Island child support, the person could be sentenced to the aci from day to day. Contempt sanctions are  technically not criminal proceedings! However, since the sanctions could lead to jail time,  they are quasi criminal proceedings. Contempt proceedings are not  technically criminal because they are intended to compel compliance with child support orders rather then punish for nonpayment!

If a person is sentenced to the aci from day to day, then the judge of the Rhode Island Family court will usually state that upon payment of certain amount the person will be released from jail.  In child support contempt proceedings there is always a ticket out of jail by making a certain payment. A person could be held in willful contempt and not be sentenced to the aci.

Legal Notice per Rules of Professional Responsibility:

The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all lawyers in the general practice of law, but does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any field of practice.

When a divorce or dissolution of marriage is brought before the family court, child visitation is considered at the same time and according to similar factors as child custody. The term stands for the time in which the non-custodial parent is allowed to meet or visit with his/her child. However, under certain circumstances a parent can be denied child visitation or child custody in the case of sole physical custody. Child visitation is often associated with the term “parenting plan,” which typically outlines the type of legal custody and physical custody of each parent and can also define when the child is to visit or be with the non-custodial parent. Parents can reach such an agreement on their own, this is the best case, or the court can decide on this matter, which is often the worst case scenario.

Typically, the best situation for a child in a divorce, child custody, and child visitation matter is when both parents manage to solve their personal differences to reach an agreement or parenting plan or child visitation schedule out of court. In this case, any agreements reached between both parents can become the parenting plan. When a parenting plan is created and child visitation and child custody issues are resolved, it may not require anymore matters to be brought to the court even if the child is very young. A decade ago, the family courts would often give infant visitation guidelines preventing the non-custodial parent from spending a lot of time with his/her child. Such provisions are not valid anymore, but rather frequent and continuous contact with both parents is encouraged. Off court agreements does not necessarily need to be translated in a written contract and signed by both parents. However, parents may be well advised to have a written and signed parenting plan for future reference in case a child custody or child visitation dispute arises. It can also be used as a stipulation between both parties and then issued as a court order for future enforcement purposes.

Now, what if the parents are not able to reach an agreement on child visitation or child custody? Both parents will often be required to participate in a mediation process before having a court hearing or before a judge hears the case. Typically, the two parents will be assisted to work out a parenting plan by a third-party or mediator, who can be an experienced attorney or social worker. Many child visitation and child custody issues find a happy ending through mediation sessions resulting in a parenting plan agreement, which can then be presented as a stipulation ad then as a court order.

Generally, the worst case is when mediation fails. In this situation, the next step is typically for a court hearing in order to solve the issues. Judges nowadays often require custody evaluations of the family by experts in the field of child psychiatry, psychology or mental health. Licensed social workers can also be called to present evidence for consideration by the court. Once all pieces of evidence have been presented, the court will typically make its decision. This is the worst case child custody and child visitation dispute method because it can be very complex, expensive, and long-draw out. In some highly contested child custody and child visitation cases, child custody and child visitation disputes will eventually result in denying child custody and child visitation rights to one of the parent.

© 2007 Child Custody Coach

Child Custody Coach supplies information, online materials, and coaching services to parents in the field of child custody, namely, divorce, child custody and visitation, child custody evaluations, 730 evaluations, parenting, and all issues related to child custody and divorce. “How to Win Child Custody – Proven Strategies that can Win You Custody and Save You Thousands in Attorney Cost!” is a unique child custody strategy guide written by The Custody Coach and made available by Child Custody Coach in an easy to read, understand, and apply E-Book format. Custody Match is an online consumer and family law attorney matching service to help you in your search for the right attorney for your divorce or child custody case. Custody Match can help you find the right family law attorney, divorce lawyer, or child custody attorney in your area.