It’s with unintentional irony that we note the 40-year anniversary of something that, according to some, has enabled fewer anniversaries — of the wedding kind — over the last four decades than anything else: no-fault divorce.

Before No-Fault Divorce

Prior to no-fault divorce, spouses seeking divorce had to prove that their partner was at fault for the marriage breakdown. Accepted legal grounds for divorce included (but were not limited to) physical or mental abuse, abandonment,insanity, or lack of sexual intimacy.

Why No Fault Divorce?

Legislators viewed burden of proof to be too heavy for divorcing people; particularly on women, who simply didn’t have the resources or means to prove that their husband was at-fault for the broken marriage. No-fault divorce was therefore created to alleviate this burden, and create a more civil, humane, practical and accessible divorce process. While financial, custodial and other issues would still remain in the hands of the court (unless a negotiated settlement between spouses was reached), a unilateral claim of “irreconcilable differences” was sufficient to end a marriage.

The Legislative Process

Signed into law on September 4, 1969 by California Governor Ronald Reagan, no-fault divorce quickly spread across the US; first to Iowa, and then to Colorado, Florida, Michigan and Oregon. By 1985, all states had enacted no-fault divorce legislation except one: New York

Why not New York?

New York legislators worried that instead of making divorce more civil and humane for women, no-fault divorce would have the opposite effect: it would weaken a woman’s ability to gain leverage in divorce proceedings, ultimately exposing them to unfair settlements. In other words, the courts would grant wives less alimony from their cheating, abusive, neglectful (and so on) husbands, because there was no issue of fault — it wasn’t even something that wives could argue in their favour. As such, under New York Divorce law, both spouses must first formally separate for a year before divorce is established .

No-Fault in Canada

In Canada, renovations to the Divorce Act in 1968 created a variation of no-fault divorce that put aside the need for spouses to prove fault, and replaced it with a practice similar to the one adopted by New York (formal separation for one year).

The Story so Far

So after 40 years, we’re obliged to ask the big, booming question: has no-fault divorce been successful? Has it achieved fairness, civility and equity? Has it empowered individuals and protected their rights; particularly women? Or has it had the opposite effect of undermining the family unit, exposing innocent spouses — including women — to the unilateral, life-changing decisions of their unscrupulous partners?

As with all unresolved debates, the answers depend on which camp you ask.

Critics of No Fault Divorce

Critics of no-fault divorce are — to put it mildly — unimpressed by its impact and legacy. They claim that it has thrown open the doors of divorce and is directly responsible for the increased divorce rate (more on this in a moment). They further claim that it has weakened the concept of family to the point that it has made divorce the norm; not the exception. Spouses can now take the “easy way out” by seeking a divorce, regardless of the impact this has on families — especially children and extended family members. And if we go further right on the religious-political spectrum, one hears the opinion that no-fault divorce has encouraged the rise of same-sex unions, which this group deems immoral.

Proponents of No Fault Divorce

On the other hand, proponents of no-fault divorce accept it as an essential right that a married individual is mercifully entitled to; especially in light of the fact that, as noted above, divorce was traditionally a burdensome — if not impossible — task for many women to achieve. Furthermore, they claim that no-fault divorce leads to less confrontational divorces, which is good for everyone; especially children. It also reduces the time and complexity of divorce proceedings, which helps reduce the burden on overwhelmed and under-resourced family courts.

The Statistics

Critics of no-fault divorce point to its direct, unwanted role in increasing divorces; a rate that author, lawyer and sociologist Thomas Marvell pegs at 20-25%.

However, proponents of no-fault divorce respond by pointing out that there are many other factors that influence divorce, and furthermore, the statistics prior to no-fault divorce were hardly idyllic. According to Miami lawyer Stanley Rosenblatt, whose 1969 book “The Divorce Racket” was a driving force in the no-fault movement:

The overall cost of your divorce can be impacted by several behaviors you may be able to control. When a marriage dissolves there are several important topics that need to be addressed and sorted out such as child custody and visitation, division of property, and support. Recognizing the following 4 behaviors and how to manage them ahead of time may be able to help your divorce lawyer properly gather the information he/she needs to put your case together and can reduce your divorce costs at the same time.

(1) Having unclear objectives

(2) Being overly enmeshed in your case

(3) Using your lawyer as a therapist

(4) Expecting justice in the courts

Having unclear objectives

One of the biggest mistakes you can make at the outset of your divorce is to not know what it is you hope to accomplish. Before you begin filing or responding to divorce motions, you would be wise to discuss your goals, objectives, and what results you can likely expect with your divorce lawyer. Having such a discussion with your divorce lawyer can help reduce the chances of unnecessary litigation, help you understand what you can likely expect through your divorce, and what the costs may likely be.

Being overly enmeshed in your case

Divorce typically deals with topics that bring about high emotions and intensity, which may result in a spouse becoming overly indulged or enmeshed in his/her case. When this happens, it is not uncommon for a spouse to supply large amounts of irrelevant research material to his/her divorce lawyer, which can drive up the costs of attorney fees. Additionally, a spouse that is enmeshed in his/her case, may begin micromanaging their divorce lawyer’s work, which can create more work for his/her divorce lawyer and be counter productive. Setting clear objectives and goals and knowing what to expect from your divorce lawyer in advance can help reduce the tendency to become overly enmeshed in your case.

Using your lawyer as a therapist

Due to the high emotions that typically go along with divorce, it is not uncommon for spouses to begin venting or discussing problems they had in their marriage or how they feel about the other spouse with their divorce lawyer. Many times, these types of discussions are strictly emotionally based, add no value to the client’s case, and are discussion better suited for a therapist, not a divorce lawyer. Divorce lawyers are typically concerned with facts, not feelings. Additionally, the time a spouse spends in these types of emotional communications with his/her divorce lawyer can add up in costs very quickly. Before initiating communication with your divorce lawyer, decide if the communication is strictly to vent or to pass on worthwhile information on to him/her.

Expecting justice in the courts

Spouses many times believe that if they can just have their day in court, justice will prevail. Spouses who believe that the courts are going to give them justice are often misguided and end up extremely disappointed with the results. Better results and happier divorce endings are often accomplished through mediation and/or stipulated agreements. When a judge makes a decision, it is rarely a win-win decision for both spouses. To manage your expectations of justice in the family courts, you would be wise to consult your divorce lawyer to help you determine what results you can likely expect if your case goes to trial.

© 2007 Child Custody Coach

Child Custody Coach supplies information, online materials, and coaching services to parents in the field of child custody, namely, divorce, child custody and visitation, child custody evaluations, 730 evaluations, parenting, and all issues related to child custody and divorce. “How to Win Child Custody – Proven Strategies that can Win You Custody and Save You Thousands in Attorney Cost!” is a unique child custody strategy guide written by The Custody Coach and made available by Child Custody Coach in an easy to read, understand, and apply E-Book format. Custody Match is an online consumer and family law attorney matching service to help you in your search for the right attorney for your divorce or child custody case. Custody Match can help you find the right family law attorney, divorce lawyer, or child custody attorney in your area.

Most people don’t have a divorce attorney on retainer. When one is needed, recommendations from friends, co-workers or family members are valuable resources to gather information and find a person you are comfortable enough with to use. Your divorce attorney in Scottsdale will become the pivotal person in your life so your compatibility is essential. Since you will have to share details about your life that you may find painful, finding someone you communicate well with and have an easy rapport with can save you from the discomfort. Not only is your potential attorney’s reputation a consideration, their fee schedule and services available through their office need to be reviewed during the selection process. You may find that they can refer a variety of services to you including counseling and financial services.

When you are married, your spouse is your go-to person. Sharing the ups and downs of life, your spouse knew your personality, could read the lines on your face and knew all of your stories. From two people who were full of love and commitment to two people who cannot agree on a birthday present for their children together, divorce is a painful reminder of the failure of sustainable love. The camaraderie couples feel when they get married often disappears as the marriage moves forward. The familiarity of your spouse’s likes and dislikes, activities you enjoyed together and a shared history become hurtful memories as you dissect a marriage built over time. As you begin to leave the past behind, the time comes to begin looking towards the future. Part of that process is to begin making decisions best for you and your children, if applicable.

As a marriage begins to crumble, decisions once made together need to be made individually and often, the decisions made by divorcing parties are completely opposite to the other partner’s wishes. The person who once was a part of every hope and every dream becomes the person whose name you most dread. Your partner becomes your nemesis. As your dissolution progresses, the support and guidance received from your attorney is a vital part of the new person you become. They help shape your post divorce life and they become a confidant as you begin picking up the pieces of your life.

In the suburbs of Scottsdale, Arizona, with a wide selection of reputable attorney’s, looking for personality fit may be a comfort as you grapple with issues of housing, retirement, benefits, children, schooling and other topics that plague these types of hearings. Whether you have a fairly harmonious split to a cantankerous one, having someone working for you that you trust and feel at ease talking to will help you navigate through one of the most difficult experiences of your life. Your attorney becomes a friend and confidant as you encounter new and often unexpected results of the proceedings. Don’t you think it’d be wise to do your research before choosing a professional to handle such decisions?

The divorce lawyer you select will become a counselor for some very important decisions. Will you negotiate on retirement benefits? Who will keep the house? What percentage of assets does each partner get? How do you handle telling friends and family about the divorce? If kids are involved, how do you tell the kids? How will the custody arrangements be handled? Not only will your divorce attorney in Scottsdale become your financial advisor, he or she will become an emotional counselor as well. Having a lawyer who will take care of your legal rights as well as keeping your financial and emotional well-being in check will ensure your future success.